Pearls…

Shell with Orb
So here I am finally posting my blog! Geeze, it only took me nearly a month to get it down on ‘paper’ (virtually). I guess the most mind blogging issue is what to say? Believe you me, not everything that comes out of my mouth needs to be blogged, but I’d like to believe there are some things on this journey we call “life” that I’ve learned and would enjoy sharing with others.  I liked to call these rambling of thoughts “pearls”.  I can’t take credit for this, since I first heard the term during my Foundations Course to becoming a life coach, from my teacher and guide, Jan Hill.  At the end of each class, all the participants would share their ‘pearls’ of what they’d take away from the subject of the day.

So here we go: First, learn what truly makes me happy and brings a sense of peace to my life.  Discovering this I learned could be something as simple as staying home alone reading a good book on a rainy, cloudy cold day in fall. I learned the secret of “happy” was really about a state of being and not perfection or even everything going my way.  It was about peace of mind. So, I began to think and re-evaluate those things in my life.  Were they encouraging a state of peace or were they instigating anxiety, worry, sadness, frustration? – you get the drift! If any situation or circumstance in my life was not adding to the joys of my life, then it  needed to go! Simple and to the point. I had to learn that it wasn’t anyone else’s job to clean my house and keep it clean except me.  Now ‘cleaning house’ doesn’t necessarily need to be a bad thing or even complicated or uncomfortable. But I would say it should be done with thought and careful consideration. Think about it, when you spring clean, you normally give so much thought

Secondly, “to thine own self be true”.  Being true to myself was paramount to my overall well-being.  This one was a little challenging for me and at times can still be. What does it mean to be “true” to oneself? I simplify it by always asking myself constantly are my actions congruent with what I really feel and want for my life.  For instance, it could be something as simple as choosing to spend some alone time rather than hanging with friends, it could be sharing my most tender or intimate feelings with someone special when indeed those are my thoughts and not give way to fear, or it can be deciding I’m going to wear loud, funky outrageous outfit to that “must be seen at” party, when I know everyone else will be sporting their new designer outfit. Yup, I can see my sister shaking her head in agreement. It might sound small but it is the small decisions that make up our quality of our lives.  Life is really too short to pretend to be someone we’re not, when who we really are deep down is something and someone amazing.  And guess what? A funny thing happened on my way to living my life, I learned that I really didn’t care all that much if anyone else agreed with me and I was always much happier in the end.

Thirdly, just let go and chill. Learning to ‘just let it go’ was HUGE for me.  I have to admit there is that tad bit of the control freak in me (“No!-really”, I can hear my mates exclaiming right about now) and I’ve invested a lot of time trying to control circumstances around me for a long time. Oh there were days where the benefit of being so “hands on” with almost everything in my life seemed to be working, but mostly it just left me frustrated, exhausted and angry. Yes, far too much energy being wasted if you ask me.  I learned letting go was more than just some cool spiritual statement that you heard in conversation with friends. Letting go became when someone didn’t agree with what I felt to be true or right for me, it was okay for me to just let that go and allow that person the right to have their say and think whatever they might.  Most of the time it meant when things didn’t go the way that I thought they should, it was all good- everything happens for a reason.  And there times it meant letting go of an idea or ideal that no longer served my personal growth.   And it most definitely meant, not picking up the responsibility of changing someone’s mind or beliefs toward what I believe to be true for me or even about life.   Now, there isn’t anything wrong with sharing one’s convictions about a variety of topics, but it reaps no reward forcing someone to think, act or believe what you do for yourself or you life.  The one person whose opinion matters most in my life is me.  I’m the one that has to be happy and at peace with my choices in life…and the rest, as they say, is history (or maybe that should be her-story).

Lastly, I learned to follow my dreams. Now that may sound simple enough, however, I’m sure you will agree with me that is far from the truth of the matter.  What did that mean following my dreams? It meant that my actions day in and day out were deliberate, thought through and most importantly were consistent with what I wanted to see manifest in my life.  This way at the end of the day, and hopefully the end of my life, it will have been about me and no one else.  So really, it didn’t matter what I did nor did not receive as a child, or the education I felt I deserved, but it would always be about what did I take responsibility in making happen in my life.

Now that may sound a little selfish, but aren’t we all just a little selfish about those things, which are most important to us in our lives. Why not learn to be selfish in the right way, for the right reasons and with the right mind set.  Sure the grass can always seem greener on someone else’s side (and in truth it very well may be), but if I’m busy working on my life and my dreams, there really isn’t a whole lot of time to be spent gazing over the fence in someone else’s backyard. Yes, it’s true, if you make your bed you sleep in it. So why now choose the sheets, duvet and size of the bed I want instead of having it picked out for me by family, friends or even society? Heck, if I’m going to sleep in it, I might as well be comfortable and cozy!!

So let’s see, that’ll be one queen sized set of 100% cotton, at least four nice large fluffy pillows that I can sink deep inside and lovely velvety duvet to boot! Ahhh, time for bed!

Cheers,

Miche

  • Nurlisa_personal

    Lovely post. I just so happened to be at a point in my life where I feel exactly the same way as you.